What To Do when The Wife Is Using Sex To Manipulate The marriage
Copyright © 2008 by Dr.J.AMcBean Library of Congress Washington.D.C.20559
T his article is design to show the good reasons and the bad reasons. It also designs to show the man how to turn the table in his favor. But, you must read the whole article.
In my estimation, every human beings dream of owning their own home. But, very few of them consider the responsibility of home ownership. For example. Let us look at just the up keeping of a home. If you refuse to cut the lawn, insect bread up, then rodent such as rats came to feed on the rodent, and the snakes came to feed on the rats. The same thing can be said of a marriage life.
Every woman dreams of getting married. Then rode off into the sunset to live happily ever after. Few consider the responsibility of that marriage. Few consider the responsibility behind marriage life. Marriage life is hard work. It is like renting a room in your home to a stranger. He she has to use the bath room and the kitchen. He she has to go and come, and he she cannot be entertained their friends at the gate, it is not proper.
What does this have to do with wife using sex to manipulate the marriage? Everything? I spent almost forty years of my life in the Christian faith. As I study and counsel Christians daily I found an ice berg of problems hidden that many pastors never saw is even talk about it.
The smallest problem between the Christians woman and her husband, the wife stop having sex as a punishment. Do not deal with this problem on your own, the first thing to do is go to the pastor of your Church and make a complain. You need to drag this problem out into the open. In all my years only one man told me that his wife does not behave like that. This happens to be a seven-day Adventist Christian. I ask him to tell me the secret to his success. He said “ he does every thing his wife want him to do”
THE SCRIPTURES ENCOURAGE BELIEVERS TO MARY IF THEY CANNOT HAVE SELF CONTROL.
1 Cor. 7:9 (Living Bible) But if you can't control yourselves, go ahead and marry. It is better to marry than to burn with lust.
THE SCRIPTURES ESTABLISH THE RULE THAT MUST GOVERN THE MARRIAGE BED.
1 Cor. 7:1-6 (KJV) Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. [2] Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. [3] Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. [4] The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. [5] Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. [6] But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
WHEN THESE RULES ARE BROKEN FOR SELFISH REASONS. THERE WILL BE NO WINNER BUT SATAN.
1 Kings 13:11-14 (KJV) Now there dwelt an old prophet in Bethel; and his sons came and told him all the works that the man of God had done that day in Bethel: the words which he had spoken unto the king, them they told also to their father. [12] And their father said unto them, What way went he? For his sons had seen what way the man of God went, which came from Judah. [13] And he said unto his sons, Saddle me the ass. So they saddled him the ass: and he rode thereon, [14] And went after the man of God, and found him sitting under an oak: and he said unto him, Art thou the man of God that camest from Judah? And he said, I am.
WHY WIVES SAY THEY REFUSES TO HAVE SEX.
It is important to know that it is not every time a female refuses sex to her husband that her reason are bad. Sometime there are legitimate reasons. Such as, she is being overwork, Sickness, menstrual cycle is on, or estrogen deficiency. Also, sometime she is just not in the mood. One woman told me she refuses her husband because in two second he is finish and cannot finish what he started. Another woman told me that the man refuses to go into the birth canal, but only want to go into her anal cavity. She continue to say he is a “ Dung picker”
COMMON PRACTICE IN CHRISTIAN CIRCLE.
1 Cor. 7:5 (NASB-U) Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Even in the time of the apostles, this was a common practice among Christians women.
THE REASON WHY CHRISTIANS WIVES CHOOSE THIS COURSE OF ACTION.
1 Tim. 3:2 (KJV) A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
1 Tim. 3:12 (KJV) Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
Titus 1:6 (KJV) If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.
The phrase “One wife” is use three times in the scriptures. One wife for bishop, one wife for deacon and any body that want to uses the office of deacon or bishop must considering one wife only. Bear in mind that during the time of the apostles polygamy was the thing of the day. The entire Christian religion adopt the one wife doctrines for every one who want to marry. The Christian wife know that she stand supreme in the man’s life and he is only legal if he get it from her. But, what about when she refuses him for selfish reason?
HOW TO TURN THE TABLE ON HER.
Once the wife take up this course of actions the marriage is over. She vacant the marriage. The man is free to get somebody else. The problem is, how is the man going to prove what is happening to him to the judges? He cannot.
DEALING WITH A WOMAN.
A woman will never use a weaponed that is not effective. If she found out that , what she is doing is working, she will never change it. Any thing the woman is doing it is the same thing you the man must do. If she refuses you, stop pushing yourself on her. If she refuses your advance and make you feel like you should not want sex. Stop acting like you want sex. Never give a woman the idea that you are sold out to sex. Or your salvation depend on her. Regardless of what happening the man better get ready to find himself a new wife. Because, this action never really stop, until it end in the divorce court.
You might say. “The marriage is going to broke up like that preacher” I want to tell you it is already broken. Every action will produce a counter reaction. In a situation like that no body win. It cannot continue like that for sure. What about your need? A woman will disregard a tool until she has another one. How is she getting her need met? Never give a woman the idea that you are sold out to sex. Many Christians men do not have the faintest idea that, that tongues talking Christians wives sometime have two and three men right there in the church. And another two on the job.
SOMETIME ONLY JESUS CAN HELP US:
Matthew 6:33-AV But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Isaiah 55:6-AV Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Isaiah 55:7-AV Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
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"Sword Bearer"