By Dr. J. A McBean.Th., MCC
Copyright © 2008 Library of Congress Washington.D.C.20559
S ometime two people can be in love with each other, but certain conditions existed that made them incompatible to each other. Sometime it is best for people with conflicting personalities to depart from each other before they hurt each other. The best thing to do with a dead dog is to bury it. An old junk car that refuses to go is better of left in the junkyard.
However, in ending a relationship, you do not want people to feel like their leaving you kills you. You must not act as if your life is over because they leave. You should not make people feel so triumphant over you. An x-lover must see fire blazing in your tent. Life goes on. “ I am sorry you have to go, I am going to missed you, we had some good time to gather, but since you have to go walk good, take care, God bless you for the good sex”
People have a time to just grow out of each other, and just cannot understand each other any more, and a boundary began to developed between them. Couples suppose to work together. Make no decisions independent of each other. Take no credit cards, contract no business nor do any thing without the will of the other if it will affect the other if something goes wrong. Every bill that I did not pay turn up on my wife credit report, and what she did not pay turn up on mine. They were small, but by the time it get back to us with the interest and compound interest, It take me one year salary to clean up and get our credit score up before we could buy a new home. A couple is responsible to each other; each person cannot act on their own.
WHAT CAUSE A RELATIONSHIP TO FALL APART?
Money trouble, the woman, women friends, bad attitudes, expecting too much from each other, refusing to give each other breeding space, trying to change each other rather than capitalized on each weakness on strength. Covetousness develops among the spouses. One lady told me that she was a real go getter while her husband was a kind of wait until things happen person, she on the other hand go and make things happen, she worked two jobs and give him a business of his own, still for all that he use to fight her all the time, she could not understand why he was always upset with her. Finally, she found out that it was because she was a go getter, her actions prove him wrong, and that was somewhat insulting for him.
THE WOMAN WOMEN FRIENDS.
I spent many years working in garments factory in places like Jamaica West Indies. On migrating to the unites states I took up nursing and was working among some ninthly five percent women. Sometime I am the only man on the entire floor working among those women; I saw how they poising the mind of other week minded women.
Sirach 42:13. For just as moths comes from garments, so harm to women comes from women. Sirach 37:7. Every counselor points out a way, but some counsel ways of their own; be on the alert when one proffers advice, find out first of all what he wants. For he may be thinking of himself alone; why should the profit fall to him?
Sirach 7:26. If you have a wife, let her not seem odious to you; but where there is ill-feelings, trust her not.
The New American Bible. Saint Joseph Edition. Catholic Book Publishing Company.
Women hate to see when another woman gets lucky and find a good man. Then they put things in each other heads and poising their mind against the man. Sent her home whit a mess up emotions and attitudes. Each trying to out boast the other, the one that make the biggest boasting, two days later they told her something that they saw her husband doing, at he same time they have never seen the man. Then they fix her head, so she is angry with him but will not ask him about the things she heard.
Since money is one of the things that drive people apart, each family must have a budget, base on their income and not on faith and luck. Not condemning faith and luck now, but must base on income. Every decision must arrive at with income in mind.
Sober-minded mean to understand the seriousness of life; does this pretty person have these qualities? A good healthy looking backside is good, but is the head screw on right?
Titus 2:6 (KJV) Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.
1 Tim. 3:11 (KJV) Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
1Ti 3:11 No exceptions are to be made for women--same qualifications: serious, dependable, not sharp-tongued, not overfond of wine.
A BURDEN BEARER AND A SCAPE GOAT.
Most problem spouses know that they had serious problem with themselves, before they even meet their mate, yet they seek out the mate deliberately, to be a mama and a papa for them with their problems. The mate is now the scrape goat or the burden bearer for all that trouble.
LOOKING BEFORE YOU LEAP.
If you have tooth problem you look for a reputable Dentist. You would not use a Dentist who learns dentistry in his mother’s back yard by pulling dogs tooth and hog tooth. You do some background check on this Dentist. It is the same thing, you cannot just move in with people because they look good and are available.
END THE RELATIONSHIP THE SAME WAY YOU START IT.
You will need to make a clean cut. Sit down with your mate and talk about the problem for once without a quarrel. Without blaming, lewd voices, talking down to each other and name-calling. End it with a handshake if possible, it is important to talk about ending a relationship the time you were starting it. Just in case, things did not work out and you both will have to end it.
Let us look and the bright side of things here. Life goes on. It is better to end the relationship and remain friends than to fight and kill each other and get filthy years in prison. If it is, a possessive and physiological unbalance person you are dealing with it is best to cut and run, leave town if possible.
It is never good to be involve with a person who cannot get any body else, because they will fallow you around like a puppy dog.
CHECKING FOR TROUBLE.
Before you dive into a pool at least look if gator is swimming in that pool. You will need to beware of people with baggage of trouble, deep-rooted bitterness, and prejudice. It is not hard to know this kind, because they have an unforgiving spirit that goes around with them. They always talk about what other people did to them as if they have never done any thing to people themselves.
Proverbs 18:14 (KJV) The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?
ONLY GOD CAN HELP BROKEN HEARTED AND WOUNDED SPIRIT PEOPLE.
Broken hearted people will carve you up, because they have all that bitterness dragging around with them.
Psalm 34:18 (KJV) The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Only God has the power to help wounded spirit people and brokenhearted people. If you get involve with such you will pay for roast and boil. You will be blamed for every thing that ever happens to them.
SOMETIME ONLY JESUS CAN HELP US
Matthew 6:33-AV But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Isaiah 55:6-AV Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Isaiah 55:7-AV Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
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"Sword Bearer"
